Issue 2

Home Article:

This is the Jell-O issue! (Okay, so I was having a really, really, really, really, really, REALLY hard time picking out a topic). Anywho, jello is the unsung hero of desserts. (according to some people) I was watching tv, and no good movies were on, and I'd already seen the episode of 'Pimp My Ride' on MTV, so I turned to Food Network and there was this show on called 'Desserts Unwrapped' and the whole episode was dedicated to Jello, (or is it Jell-O? As you can tell, this was not exactly well-researched). Back to the subject at hand: I had no clue you could spend a 1/2 hour talking about jello. (or any one food for that matter. Orlando Bloom's sexy butt, yes, but that's eye-candy and not really in the same category.) I was filled with horrified fascination. And also really, really, REALLY weirded out about the "Jell-O Lady." (see "topic tie-ins" page) So in honor of the hithro unknown jello subculture, I have decided to dedicate this um, issue-thingie everyone's favorite dessert made of ground-up animal bones.

Okay, time for some background info. Jell-O is made of (as stated above) out of ground-up animal bones. I think the scientific name for this is "gellitan," but I'm not really sure and I don't really care. Um, I don't really know anything else about it, (other than the Jello Lady, I wasn't paying close attention to the tv show, I mean, how can you pay close attention to 30 min. of jello talk?) except that it comes in little cardboard boxes, and some people pour it in moulds. My grandma has about 6 such moulds. And it wiggles. The cafeteria sometimes cuts it up in squares. This is pretty much all I know about Jello. And frankly, it's a food. Made from bones. How much do you really want to know about it?

Topic Tie-Ins Page:

This is (with maybe 1 or 2 artistic liberties taken) the interview between the self-proclaimed "Jell-O Lady" and some guy hosting the show.

Jell-O Lady: (laughing manicaly as jello wiggles on a plate) Isn't that funny? I just never get tired of that! Hahaha!

Interviewer: [from now on called "Bob" because I'm too lazy to type "Interviewer" over and over again] So, um, why exactly are you so fond of jello?

Jell-O Lady: (surrounded by jell-o moulds) I just think it's such a happy food! I mean, the way it wiggles! It's just so funny!

Bob: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. (scanning for nearest exit) So, how long have you been collecting jell-o, er, products.

Jell-O Lady: All my life. I collect every type of jell-o memorobelia. [Author's Note: I don't think I spelled that right, but I'm too lazy to look it up.] Old empty boxes of Jell-O, old adds for Jell-O from magazines, and shirts that say Jell-O. But I have a particular weakness for jell-o moulds.

Bob: So I see... (eyes mountains of Jell-O moulds).

Jell-O Lady: And my license plate says "Jell-O," and so does my shirt.

Bob: Oh, look at the time! Well, thank you for your time. I've got to run!

Jell-O Lady: But you haven't seen the entire wing of my house devoted to Jell-O yet!

Bob: Gotta go! (run for nearest exit and slams the door behind him. You can hear the squeal of his tires as he backs out of the driveway at 150 mph)

Okay, okay so maybe I took more than 2 artistic liberties with that. But there really is a Jell-O lady, her license plate really does say "Jell-O," she was really wearing a Jell-O shirt, and she has at least 2 rooms of her house devoted to Jell-O. I swear I'm not making this up.

Disclaimer: I do not have rights to jello or the jell-o lady. Use of her interview and anything else mentioned about her are used without her consent or knowledge. I have no connection to the Jell-O Lady whatsoever other than seeing her on TV. No, I'm not making this up. Yes, a Jell-O subculture does exist. Yes, the jello lady exists, I saw her on tv. But she won't come to your house and leave little packages of jello on your hearth until your asleep. And she gives pudding to you if you've been bad.

PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!!!


				*Issue 2*



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		Home Article: This is the Jell-O issue! (Okay, so I was having a really, really, really, really, really, REALLY hard time picking out a topic). Anywho, jello is the unsung hero of desserts. (according to some people) I was watching tv, and no good movies were on, and I'd already seen the episode of 'Pimp My Ride' on MTV, so I turned to Food Network and there was this show on called 'Desserts Unwrapped' and the whole episode was dedicated to Jello, (or is it Jell-O? As you can tell, this was not exactly well-researched). Back to the subject at hand: I had no clue you could spend a 1/2 hour talking about jello. (or any one food for that matter. Orlando Bloom's sexy butt, yes, but that's eye-candy and not really in the same category.) I was filled with horrified fascination. And also really, really, REALLY weirded out about the "Jell-O Lady." (see "topic tie-ins" page) So in honor of the hithro unknown jello subculture, I have decided to dedicate this um, issue-thingie everyone's favorite dessert made of ground-up animal bones. Okay, time for some background info. Jell-O is made of (as stated above) out of ground-up animal bones. I think the scientific name for this is "gellitan," but I'm not really sure and I don't really care. Um, I don't really know anything else about it, (other than the Jello Lady, I wasn't paying close attention to the tv show, I mean, how can you pay close attention to 30 min. of jello talk?) except that it comes in little cardboard boxes, and some people pour it in moulds. My grandma has about 6 such moulds. And it wiggles. The cafeteria sometimes cuts it up in squares. This is pretty much all I know about Jello. And frankly, it's a food. Made from bones. How much do you really want to know about it? Topic Tie-Ins Page: This is (with maybe 1 or 2 artistic liberties taken) the interview between the self-proclaimed "Jell-O Lady" and some guy hosting the show. Jell-O Lady: (laughing manicaly as jello wiggles on a plate) Isn't that funny? I just never get tired of that! Hahaha! Interviewer: [from now on called "Bob" because I'm too lazy to type "Interviewer" over and over again] So, um, why exactly are you so fond of jello? Jell-O Lady: (surrounded by jell-o moulds) I just think it's such a happy food! I mean, the way it wiggles! It's just so funny! Bob: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. (scanning for nearest exit) So, how long have you been collecting jell-o, er, products. Jell-O Lady: All my life. I collect every type of jell-o memorobelia. [Author's Note: I don't think I spelled that right, but I'm too lazy to look it up.] Old empty boxes of Jell-O, old adds for Jell-O from magazines, and shirts that say Jell-O. But I have a particular weakness for jell-o moulds. Bob: So I see... (eyes mountains of Jell-O moulds). Jell-O Lady: And my license plate says "Jell-O," and so does my shirt. Bob: Oh, look at the time! Well, thank you for your time. I've got to run! Jell-O Lady: But you haven't seen the entire wing of my house devoted to Jell-O yet! Bob: Gotta go! (run for nearest exit and slams the door behind him. You can hear the squeal of his tires as he backs out of the driveway at 150 mph) Okay, okay so maybe I took more than 2 artistic liberties with that. But there really is a Jell-O lady, her license plate really does say "Jell-O," she was really wearing a Jell-O shirt, and she has at least 2 rooms of her house devoted to Jell-O. I swear I'm not making this up. Disclaimer: I do not have rights to jello or the jell-o lady. Use of her interview and anything else mentioned about her are used without her consent or knowledge. I have no connection to the Jell-O Lady whatsoever other than seeing her on TV. No, I'm not making this up. Yes, a Jell-O subculture does exist. Yes, the jello lady exists, I saw her on tv. But she won't come to your house and leave little packages of jello on your hearth until your asleep. And she gives pudding to you if you've been bad. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!!!



		Disclaimer: I do not own Halloween. Neither do you. ...So back off buddy!