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The 70s: Fads that Pain Us
Home Article:
Well, it's Feburary, our New Year's
resolutions are broken, midterms are behind us, and a new issue is up! This is The Gnome's not-so-reverent tribute to the
70s!! The decade of streakers, string art, glass eating, and disco. So mellow out, sing the YMCA song, and take a trip
down memory lane...
Let's start our flashback fever with one of the most puzzling fads of the 70s:
dashboard hula girls. Honestly, what is the point? Bobble-head chijuajuas (or however the heck that's spelt) are bad enough,
but hula girls? According to some site I found through the great Google monster, they were made popular by California surfers.
Figures. I can just see it now...
1st Surfer:Like, duuuuude, I bought this like, plastic chick for my car, and she
like, dances when the car moves! Isn't that so friggin' awesome?!
2nd Surfer: Sexy! I so need one!
And so the fad spread through our great nation. Infecting the hearts and minds
of our youth; despoiling the good sense of our working class, the surfer dudes reigned supreme.
You can still find thousands of sites selling hula girls. Infact, there are hula
girl collectors, and hula girl 'families.' "Our newest addition to collection #3 is Mala. Young Mala is the younger sister
of bestseller, Kari and aspires to one day dance in the Macey's parade..."
So join the ever dwindling ranks of the hula obsessed: by yours today!
Topic Tie-Ins Article:
PET ROCKS:THE UNTOLD STORY
Today, when most sane people hear about pet rocks they go, "Oooookay. You're joking, right?
Please say you're joking." But no, it happened. It was a dark time in our history, but we can't run from it. It may be painful
for you, but you have to learn the truth.
The story of pet rocks begins with Gary Dahl. One night while he was drinking, Gary came up
with the idea of a pet that wouldn't wet the floor, chew up furniture, or need to be washed. (In other words, one that's not
any fun). Wouldn't you know pet rocks were invented by a drunk guy?
Anyway, Gary even went so far as to write a "Pet Rock Training Manual." Leading experts
to believe he suffered an affliction know as 'way too much spare time.' Pet rocks were introduced at a gift show, of all places.
And here's the weird thing: people bought them. Gary became a millionaire! He was on The Tonight Show, two
times!
But all weird things must come to an end; copycat pets rock shoved their evil way into
the market. After Christmas of '75, pet rocks became 'last year's ridiculous thing to waste money on.' And so pet rocks passed
from our culture, but, unfortunately, they shall never be forgotten...
Disclaimer: Um...I don't own the 70s. Or surfer dudes, hula girls, pet rocks, streakers,
or anything else like that. If I did, do you think I'd share?
P.S. And I'm sorry this issue is so short.
GO HIPPIES!!!
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